vivdunstan

We have just got to S2E18 "Confessions and Lamentations" in our latest Babylon 5 rewatch. This episode absolutely devastated me on original first watch back in 1995. And it’s just as powerful now, with the added experience of having lived through the Covid pandemic adding extra poignancy.

Importantly this episode also moves on the Sheridan/Delenn relationship. And it’s really nice to see recurring guest star Jim Norton back in another role. He’s always phenomenally good value.

And what stunning episodes we have coming. We are still managing an episode a week, on Sunday nights.

Finally going through the Edinburgh Book Festival programme, and disappointed as the proportion of streamed talks diminishes even further for yet another year. Luckily I am finding some gems, including Robert Macfarlane and Hallie Rubenhold. But it is pretty poor representation on accessibility grounds.

I used to attend the Edinburgh Book Festival in person, though usually then only attending one or two talks. But those days are past, as my neurological disease progresses, and streaming that took off as Covid started was a huge help to housebound me. And now that’s in major decline.

P.S. Streaming tickets now bought, for the above two talks, plus those with VE Schwab and RF Kuang. I will probably watch them belatedly on catch-up in bed.

Got this late afternoon in Dundee city centre. I am still offered these Covid vaccines twice yearly by the NHS, being severely immunosuppressed. Very quiet vaccine centre - no one waiting when I got there early. I suspect they have a lot of no shows in the current 75+ group. I was weeks earlier for my vaccine than I might have been, keen to get it before my Capercaillie music concert in 3 weeks.

Because I was seen so early we were able to get an early takeaway dinner from a fab fish and chip shop that is sadly shutting its Dundee branch after this weekend. Sat below the uni, overlooking the River Tay to Fife. Bright evening sunshine, and surrounded by optimistic but unsuccessful seagulls. Martin also spotted wild bunnies on the grass down the steps, so dashed down to photograph them.

Planning a very quiet weekend. I expect to be feverish and very sore overnight. More seriously I will probably have a 3 month long flare in my autoimmune brain disease, starting about a week from now. It’s very difficult. But I will be protected.

Back home from the V&A Dundee now. Really enjoyed the Kimono exhibition. We could turn up any time to get in, with our new joint memberships, and the V&A staff handled that we hadn't got our member cards in the post yet. I came away from the front reception desk with a freshly printed temporary membership card, and they will look into the missing cards (I'm thinking Dundee East postal depot backlogs!). It was incredibly busy when we got into the exhibition, so much queuing needed to get around the different sections. Slightly anxiety inducing for infection phobic us. We dodged a few obviously coughing or sneezing people ... And we skipped some bits that were of less interest. But I saw all the bits I really wanted to see. I was especially interested in the early history and some of the related artefacts on display. Plus kimono pattern books and drawings and paintings from the 18th and 19th centuries. I was agog at those. I only had a few things I struggled to see from my wheelchair because of height/arrangement. More of a problem was navigating around the fellow visitors, who were so engrossed that we'd often have to very clearly alert them to wheelchair coming through. I needed a horn! But we both enjoyed it and are glad we went. And just outside was the Dundee Tapestry exhibition still, which was also attracting lots of visitors, and we were happy to go round it. Bought stuff in the shop after - which is still a bit too much of a squeeze with a wheelchair, though somewhat improved after my feedback a year ago which they acted on. Then coffee and bagels lunch at the kiosk/van outside. Very glad we made it, though I won't be surprised if the same thing happens as last time we went there, and we've picked up an infection (was Covid a year ago). Fingers crossed not though!

P.S. Martin just said he could have done with fewer physical kimonos on display. I also found some of those some of the less interesting elements of the exhibition. But as he said, if you went to a kimono exhibition and didn't see lots of kimonos you would probably be justifiably disappointed! But overall the balance was good.

P.P.S. Have just emailed the V&A Dundee with some feedback on the Kimono exhibition, including how it was much better for me accessibility wise than Tartan, and also to thank them for improvements they have made re accessibility in the shop. Which they did after my feedback a year ago.

As usual the Urban Crow deck, and my loose 3-card past/present/future spread.

Scavenge / Freedom / Battle. Again some new to me cards this week.

This random draw does feel close to what I've been going through lately, and will be going through in the coming weeks and months. I very recently had my 10th Covid vaccine, which I expected to cause my 10th post Covid vaccine neurological auto immune illness flare. Which is really tough, and happens a week after each vaccine, and lasts for 3 long months. I'd spent the last few weeks before the vaccine trying desperately to sort things out that needed doing, including finishing (or nearly finishing) a couple of academic journal papers before I got too sick to work on them. At the same time I knew I was in as good a position as I was going to be for a long time, and wanted to grab the opportunities. Then when I had my vaccine it was a very strange feeling of limbo for the next week, feeling good - apart from flu like vaccine side effects (I had both flu and Covid vaccines together) - but knowing it was just a brief period. It almost felt psychologically like floating on air. And then this last weekend things crashed back down, with clear signs of my latest flare starting. Which is still currently relatively mild, but should get much more scary and difficult to deal with over the coming weeks.

So yes, a bit of desperate scrabbling around, and then a strange feeling of limbo, and tough times looming. I will cope though. At least I was forewarned, and have been able to prepare for it. That almost sounds like a Doctor Who quote!

Huge thanks to the NHS Tayside staff in the Wallacetown health centre in Dundee. Double vaccinated. Expecting to get very ill from an autoimmune neurological flare starting in a week from now, and it will last 3 months. That will be the 10th time for me after a Covid vaccine ... But I want my vaccine protection too much, and am hugely grateful to have received it again. It's currently a fight between my arms re which hurts more. No fever yet.

Preparation / Self-Interest / Memory.

Another three cards. Which in some ways connect with where I am now.

Autumn is my favourite time of year, and I’ve been getting things in place and making plans for the coming months. Especially the next month and a half, before my inevitable latest post Covid vaccine neurological flare. I’ve already been thinking an awful lot about this, but still need to sit down, with pen and paper, properly brainstorm, and make a list. I’m also planning very soon to blog about my plans on my academic musings blog.

Self-Interest is something I can focus on too much at times. But it’s also important, given how limited I am now, to focus on things that give me joy. Which ties in with the previous paragraph.

This year sees many big anniversaries in my life. Very big ones, like 30 years since both our graduation together and wedding. But also fandom ones, including the 40th anniversaries of Robin of Sherwood, The Box of Delights and even Murder She Wrote! I’d like to dedicate some time to looking back. Including remembering my undergraduate years. Before the end of 2024! So soon.

So more to ponder. But, yes, I need to formalise my musings re plans just that bit more. Writing a formal public blog on the subject should help encourage that.

Another 3-card past/present/future draw, using the Urban Crow oracle deck.

The middle card "Gifts", for the present, resonates a lot. I missed being at Worldcon in person this last week, and among other things really missed browsing and shopping in the gobsmacking Dealers' Room. I am part way through browsing through the online shops for many dealers who were there. Seeing if I want to pick something up as a substitute treat. I have already picked up a "Fan Phenomena" book about Game of Thrones from Intellect Books. Not a series I ever watched or read, but know a lot about. And I'm viewing that book as a taster for the Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings ones I most want to read. Also browsing comic book publishers (including a small press one in Scotland, who publishes many of interest to me), and gift shops.

As for "Mischief", well we've just had another run in with Covid in the house. Picked up on an outing to St Andrews last Friday. Martin was the only one to test positive, but given my symptom pattern we're sure I've had it too. Luckily it has been very mild this time. Martin's symptoms have been significantly less troublesome than his ongoing Long Covid.

Looking ahead "Mimicry" reminds me that I want to do original things in my academic work and fun projects. It's easy to retread the same topics. But I want to challenge myself, by trying new things, and tricky things. Other people might relate to this card differently. But given where I am, and what I'm hoping to do in the upcoming future, that's how it resonates most for me.

Ordering me more free LFT Covid tests - in Scotland patients eligible for antivirals (including the severely immunosuppressed like me) can still get packs of 7 NHS LFTs sent free in the post, as needed. Unlike in England where it's pot luck whether similar patients can find any free ones in a local chemist. As I just said to Martin "Whatever happens, I'm going to want to test daily for the next week at least!" My cough is worsening, but otherwise I'm still feeling good. I'd expect if I have caught it from him to show more symptoms in the coming days. If I do test positive I may decide not to ask for antivirals, depending on how I get on. But want to know if I do test positive so I know to pause my strong immunsouppression drug for a couple of weeks. Which I can't risk pausing needlessly. But in a Covid situation I've been told I should. The advice varies for individual immunosuppressed patients.

Martin has a positive LFT test for Covid. So clear even I could see it without my glasses! He is feeling pretty ok. I have a bit of a rough throat, but don’t plan to test until tomorrow. I am very slow to show any positives on LFTs. But we are currently ok 🙂

It’s so ironic we had one outing to St Andrews. Where Martin was largely masked, and me too when I was indoors. We haven’t been to the infectious risk of the Worldcon. Aarrgghh!

If I test positive I can access antivirals, if ill enough. And would want to pause my immunosuppression for two weeks. But that is for another day.

This will be Martin’s 5th known Covid infection. And if I get it my 4th. All in under a year.