vivdunstan

Preparation / Self-Interest / Memory.

Another three cards. Which in some ways connect with where I am now.

Autumn is my favourite time of year, and I’ve been getting things in place and making plans for the coming months. Especially the next month and a half, before my inevitable latest post Covid vaccine neurological flare. I’ve already been thinking an awful lot about this, but still need to sit down, with pen and paper, properly brainstorm, and make a list. I’m also planning very soon to blog about my plans on my academic musings blog.

Self-Interest is something I can focus on too much at times. But it’s also important, given how limited I am now, to focus on things that give me joy. Which ties in with the previous paragraph.

This year sees many big anniversaries in my life. Very big ones, like 30 years since both our graduation together and wedding. But also fandom ones, including the 40th anniversaries of Robin of Sherwood, The Box of Delights and even Murder She Wrote! I’d like to dedicate some time to looking back. Including remembering my undergraduate years. Before the end of 2024! So soon.

So more to ponder. But, yes, I need to formalise my musings re plans just that bit more. Writing a formal public blog on the subject should help encourage that.

Another 3-card past/present/future spread, using the Urban Crow oracle deck. And musings on how these might relate to my current circumstances.

Warning makes me think again of the increasing signs I've had in the last few weeks that my neurological disease was going out of control. Even as I should be improving a little, as I was coming out of my latest 3-month-long post Covid vaccine neuro flare. I have now noticed these, and am alert to them. And will decide whether to re-raise my strong immunosuppression drug in 6 weeks time, if not sooner.

There isn't anything otherwise bad happening to me that can be linked to Mischief. I'm more minded by seeing it that I need to have playful fun, despite everything. So I'd like to take that as a reminder that I need to make an effort to have good mischief in my life too. And that's something I can do something about.

Gifts is a reminder of my upcoming birthday (a pack of playing cards birthday as I like to think of it!). I know that Martin has been getting some things in for me this week. He is also arranging a gigantic fudge doughnut cake again from Fisher & Donaldson, at my request. Though this year he will need to pick it up in person from the city centre shop. They no longer do local home deliveries.

I dug this out again, and had a go drawing some cards. Here are the ones I drew tonight.



Note this is not any standard layout or spread, just something I drew up impulsively. I wanted to draw more than 3 cards, but not too many more. In particular I wanted enough that I could choose to ignore some if I wanted. Equally I don't want cards in particular positions to have any special significance. So it's 5 cards drawn, at random, of which I can choose to ignore several in my musings, if they don't feel right for me now.

The artwork is gorgeous. It's woodblock based, by Spanish artist Tomas Hijo. On the downside the Minor Arcana cards are mostly just pips-style, like ordinary playing cards, so lacking individual illustrations. But the court cards have proper individual illustrations, as do the Major Arcana.

The biggest downside for me using this deck is that the accompanying guide is akin to a foldout map/poster rather than a little booklet as you often get with Tarot decks. I can ignore that guide, using other references for help with interpretations. But I do like the extra information the foldout guide has relating the cards to the Lord of the Rings theme. And I don't want to miss those. I could easily see me getting tired of battling with the foldout poster though.

Here are the 5 cards I drew tonight:

Top left - The World (The Fellowship)
Middle - The Fool (Frodo)
Top right - The Eight of Rings (the deck replaces Pentacles with Rings)
Bottom left - Justice (Legolas)
Bottom right - The Magician (Gandalf)

Of these Eight of Rings relates to study and learning. I'd like to use that to remind me that I need to return to my Gaelic language study. It's easy to keep meaning to do something in future, but never get round to it in a reasonable time. I need to make a deliberate effort to prioritise this.

Frodo's Fool card relates to great opportunities being offered, the chance of an exciting adventure. This doesn't resonate with me at the moment. I am too limited, even considering more cerebral adventures. And trapped for now in a never-ending cycle of many extended neurological flares. But it's a gorgeous card.

The Fellowship card is, if anything, even more gorgeous. The guide with the cards suggest this is about having nearly reached a goal, and a sense of community. Well this does resonate. IFComp 2024 is going to open for judging in a fortnight. I have a new game all finished, entered and ready for the competition. And I am really looking forward to taking part in the closed IFComp authors' community on the IF forum this year. Just excited about it to be honest, however my game fares. Which is a nice place to be in.

Justice - which I thought at first glance was Faramir not Legolas, yes I missed his ears! - seems to be about keeping your vision true and clear. Which I could apply to lots of things. But I'm rather in a muddle of different projects and interests at the moment. And it doesn't really resonate.

The last card, a gorgeous Gandalf illustration for the Magician, reminds me that I need to think of others and not just my own priorities. Obviously paramount in this is Martin, supporting him. But also my friends and family. We hope to have a visit soon from in-laws. Which will be lovely. That's using the interpretation provided in the guide for this deck, rather than a more traditional one.

So 5 cards drawn very loosely, and of those 3 resonated with my current situation a lot. I *adore* the art, though that's on the fully illustrated cards. The simpler pips based cards are disappointing. And I could definitely see the foldout guide becoming a menace. I might have to convert that into a different format. But an interesting experience drawing these.

And yes, I really need to sort out a Tarot/oracle card icon for posts like these!

I'm trying to remember to make time for this each week. To randomly draw a simple past/present/future 3-card spread of the Urban Crow oracle cards which I got recently. And find very easy to work with/interpret.

As usual, I'm using them as a tool to reflect on my situation and circumstances. And think about where I am and what I want to do. I am not using them in a predictive kind of way.

Here is today's spread. With thoughts/comments after the picture.



The middle card, Freedom, was lovely to see. I am currently newly in a better patch in between my recurring rollercoaster of post Covid vaccine neurological autoimmune disease flares. I've had these flares 9 times now, after every Covid vaccine (I get, and need, a lot of Covid vaccines because I am severely immunosuppressed). Each time I am even more ill for up to 3 months, with phenomenally increased sedation, headaches, arm and leg loss of control, and increased bladder incontinence. Many people wouldn't put up with this. But I'm not willing to sacrifice my much needed Covid vaccine protection. And I know I am generating good antibodies from each one.

So I'm in a better patch, for the next couple of months. After that I will get my 10th Covid vaccine, and be iller again for another 3 months. I will just cope. Plus my neurological disease is still progressing, and leaves me severely disabled, even in the better patches. But that progression is slow. And that's partly why I'm still here 30 years into living with this illness!

So yes, this is a time of relative freedom for me, and I want to make the most of it. Maybe get more things done, including the academic journal papers and research projects I am working on sporadically. And maybe get out more with Martin, to have fun.

The left card, reflecting the past, is Anomaly, which can be a problem, or something out of the ordinary, or other interpretations. It's making me think of my latest Covid vaccine flare more than my long-term neurological disease. A devastating neurological flare which has run from early May to early August. And it does tie in with Freedom.

The rightmost card, reflecting looking ahead, is Caching. Which again fits nicely with where I am. I want, in this short better patch, to make new valuable memories, and get things done I can look back on in future. So I want to make the most of this time, in a way I can look back on happily when I'm much iller again.

An interesting draw anyway, and some nice things to think about.

Meanwhile re Freedom, today is the start of the Glasgow Worldcon, and I have digital streaming access thanks to my attending ticket. I won't be watching much live, but hope to see one talk later today. And catch up on even more in the coming weeks and months. I also have Oxonmoot to look forward to in a few weeks. Again with a digital ticket. And ditto for the Edinburgh Book Festival. Streaming has been transformational for me.

Inspired by a recent read I've picked up M.J. Cullinane's "Urban Crow" oracle deck - I love the artwork, and the theming. And also the "Seasons of the Witch" Mabon oracle deck - the one of that series that appealed to me the most. I have never tried Oracle cards, but have been starting to work with Tarot cards for personal reflection and creativity. And the various Oracle cards look like a nice variant on that. And also, frankly, probably easier to make sense of, without knowing/learning a mass of deep meanings behind each Tarot card!

I'm newly reading "Howl's Moving Castle" for the book club I'm in. Never read it, despite reading many Diana Wynne Jones books before. Also never seen the Studio Ghibli movie. However I plan to rectify that after reading the book! The movie is on Netflix, which we have. I was browsing a graphic novel version (volume 1 of 4) of the story this morning in Waterstones, using the images from the film. Managed to resist buying that. But then this afternoon found there is a playing card set based on it (I collect playing cards). Oops. Oh and I plan to watch the movie with the English language dub. The lead voice actor is Jean Simmons, who is one of my favourite acting folks of all time.