vivdunstan

Back to the Urban Crow deck, and as usual my 3-card past/present/future spread.

Play / Anomaly / Anticipation.

There could be lots of interpretations of these cards. But looking at them I'm immediately reminded that I'm in a brief phase of slightly better health at the moment, and about to go very very downhill again in a few weeks time. So I've been having fun, and trying to make the most of it. Albeit hampered by my failed experimental immunosuppression dose change from May. Which still needs a few weeks to resolve itself since the dose went back in September (it takes up to 12 weeks to show the full effects).

Admittedly I've had post Covid vaccine flares so many times (9/9, with my 10th Covid vaccine due in a couple of weeks) that it's hardly an "anomaly" in my life! But it is still phenomenally disrupting each time, very distressing, leaving me extra incapacitated with devastating increased neurological symptoms for 3 long months at a time. It's a never-ending rollercoaster. But not one I'm willing to get off. I want my vaccine protection too much, and severely immunosuppressed me really needs it to get through Covid ok. Which we keep catching.

On plus I've got Christmas looming in the next few months, and that's what the last card today shouts out to me. I am not religious - was brought up vaguely Church of Scotland, but I've been agnostic for many years. I take after my Dad re this. However I love the mid winter festival that is Christmas, and the sense of snuggling down, in the warmth, with good food, and celebrations. So that's something to look forward to. Even if I will still be neurologically flaring very badly then.

This year we can also look forward to our annual pre-Christmas rewatch of 1984's TV Box of Delights being the new next month Blu-ray remastered version. So that will be a treat to carry us through to Christmas too.

Preparation / Self-Interest / Memory.

Another three cards. Which in some ways connect with where I am now.

Autumn is my favourite time of year, and I’ve been getting things in place and making plans for the coming months. Especially the next month and a half, before my inevitable latest post Covid vaccine neurological flare. I’ve already been thinking an awful lot about this, but still need to sit down, with pen and paper, properly brainstorm, and make a list. I’m also planning very soon to blog about my plans on my academic musings blog.

Self-Interest is something I can focus on too much at times. But it’s also important, given how limited I am now, to focus on things that give me joy. Which ties in with the previous paragraph.

This year sees many big anniversaries in my life. Very big ones, like 30 years since both our graduation together and wedding. But also fandom ones, including the 40th anniversaries of Robin of Sherwood, The Box of Delights and even Murder She Wrote! I’d like to dedicate some time to looking back. Including remembering my undergraduate years. Before the end of 2024! So soon.

So more to ponder. But, yes, I need to formalise my musings re plans just that bit more. Writing a formal public blog on the subject should help encourage that.

Another 3-card past/present/future spread, using the Urban Crow oracle deck. And musings on how these might relate to my current circumstances.

Warning makes me think again of the increasing signs I've had in the last few weeks that my neurological disease was going out of control. Even as I should be improving a little, as I was coming out of my latest 3-month-long post Covid vaccine neuro flare. I have now noticed these, and am alert to them. And will decide whether to re-raise my strong immunosuppression drug in 6 weeks time, if not sooner.

There isn't anything otherwise bad happening to me that can be linked to Mischief. I'm more minded by seeing it that I need to have playful fun, despite everything. So I'd like to take that as a reminder that I need to make an effort to have good mischief in my life too. And that's something I can do something about.

Gifts is a reminder of my upcoming birthday (a pack of playing cards birthday as I like to think of it!). I know that Martin has been getting some things in for me this week. He is also arranging a gigantic fudge doughnut cake again from Fisher & Donaldson, at my request. Though this year he will need to pick it up in person from the city centre shop. They no longer do local home deliveries.

I'm trying to remember to make time for this each week. To randomly draw a simple past/present/future 3-card spread of the Urban Crow oracle cards which I got recently. And find very easy to work with/interpret.

As usual, I'm using them as a tool to reflect on my situation and circumstances. And think about where I am and what I want to do. I am not using them in a predictive kind of way.

Here is today's spread. With thoughts/comments after the picture.



The middle card, Freedom, was lovely to see. I am currently newly in a better patch in between my recurring rollercoaster of post Covid vaccine neurological autoimmune disease flares. I've had these flares 9 times now, after every Covid vaccine (I get, and need, a lot of Covid vaccines because I am severely immunosuppressed). Each time I am even more ill for up to 3 months, with phenomenally increased sedation, headaches, arm and leg loss of control, and increased bladder incontinence. Many people wouldn't put up with this. But I'm not willing to sacrifice my much needed Covid vaccine protection. And I know I am generating good antibodies from each one.

So I'm in a better patch, for the next couple of months. After that I will get my 10th Covid vaccine, and be iller again for another 3 months. I will just cope. Plus my neurological disease is still progressing, and leaves me severely disabled, even in the better patches. But that progression is slow. And that's partly why I'm still here 30 years into living with this illness!

So yes, this is a time of relative freedom for me, and I want to make the most of it. Maybe get more things done, including the academic journal papers and research projects I am working on sporadically. And maybe get out more with Martin, to have fun.

The left card, reflecting the past, is Anomaly, which can be a problem, or something out of the ordinary, or other interpretations. It's making me think of my latest Covid vaccine flare more than my long-term neurological disease. A devastating neurological flare which has run from early May to early August. And it does tie in with Freedom.

The rightmost card, reflecting looking ahead, is Caching. Which again fits nicely with where I am. I want, in this short better patch, to make new valuable memories, and get things done I can look back on in future. So I want to make the most of this time, in a way I can look back on happily when I'm much iller again.

An interesting draw anyway, and some nice things to think about.

Meanwhile re Freedom, today is the start of the Glasgow Worldcon, and I have digital streaming access thanks to my attending ticket. I won't be watching much live, but hope to see one talk later today. And catch up on even more in the coming weeks and months. I also have Oxonmoot to look forward to in a few weeks. Again with a digital ticket. And ditto for the Edinburgh Book Festival. Streaming has been transformational for me.

Inspired by a recent read I've picked up M.J. Cullinane's "Urban Crow" oracle deck - I love the artwork, and the theming. And also the "Seasons of the Witch" Mabon oracle deck - the one of that series that appealed to me the most. I have never tried Oracle cards, but have been starting to work with Tarot cards for personal reflection and creativity. And the various Oracle cards look like a nice variant on that. And also, frankly, probably easier to make sense of, without knowing/learning a mass of deep meanings behind each Tarot card!