vivdunstan

I'm continuing my reread of The Fellowship of the Ring. And the party have just got through Moria. But I was struggling hugely to visualise in my mind the different rooms and levels that the party were going through, especially later on in their time in Moria. But I can remember a time when I could visualise them clearly. For many years. So this seems to be something I've lost since, or can't do now anyway. It's not that I'm not remembering the Peter Jackson movie version. But my image of the journey through Moria was memorably different from the movie I saw in 2001. I remember clearly having "thoughts" about the film's depiction of Moria, and how different it was from how I imagined it looked ever since I'd started reading the book for the first time as a young child. But now I can't really visualise any geography at all as I read.

Relatively recently I tried an aphantasia online test. And scored highly. Which would fit with my struggles to visualise things in my mind now. Including faces. Even very close family! But I'm now wondering after this LOTR rereading experience if it's something that I've developed more in recent years. Perhaps as a result of my progressive neurological illness.

When I was young I could visualise things, and draw from images in my mind. However when my neurological illness started in 1994 at age 22 I quickly noticed my ability to think abstractly diminishing. Rather a big problem for a computer science PhD student needing to program. I quickly lost the ability to program effectively in lots of languages. Though at the time I just coped as best as I could. It's more distressing looking back.

So yup, I wonder if visualisation is another loss with time, perhaps due to my long term illness. It's partly also why I dreaded designing cover art for my latest IFComp game. But hey, got there!

Curiouser and curiouser anyway. I am enjoying my LOTR reread despite this. Next up Lothlorien.

Current main reading, April 2022 edition. I’m expecting this set to carry me through the month.

Novels fantasy Wheel of Time book 3, scifi Expanse book 1, and occult Edinburgh fantasy The Library of the Dead, more Sherlock Holmes (currently The Sign of the Four novel), Oliver Sacks neurology and Loren Wiseman’s Traveller RPG editorials.



Of these I’m about 40% through each of the Wheel of Time and Expanse books, tending to read one for a run of days, before switching to the other, and vice versa. The Edinburgh occult book is my next main novel after finishing one of those. It starts well. Sherlock Holmes is an ongoing reread of the original canon, but very leisurely. I’m greatly enjoying the neurology book. And the Traveller RPG columns continue to delight. I think they might literally take me years to finish! I Kickstarted that collection, and am slowly savouring it on my Kindle.