Continuing revising (pre peer review) an academic journal paper. And today** has felt like 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, another step forward. So overall progress! Though much yet to do. But happy with progress. Even if it at times feels like an old style dance, with the forward/back moves!

** Well after 3pm when I'd finally woken up properly!

Exploring another branch of my maternal Scottish family tree, and finding a nephew of my 5xg-granny from Melrose who was a Professor of Hebrew, dying at North Leith in 1901. His dad, husband of my g..aunt, had been a schoolmaster at Galashiels in the early 1800s.

I often deal with imposter syndrome in my academic work. Not least as my progressive neurological illness affects me more and more. But going into the weekend feeling confident about things I'm working on. And excited for the next stages. A very encouraging state of affairs considering everything!

Powerful video from Dundee University staff, including my history colleague Anja Johansen, who I've known for over two decades.

Blogged a thing about Dundee University today ...

Just finished my first book of 2025. An Academy for Liars by Alexis Henderson. Dark academia. 3/5 stars. Now for my next novel started Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa, my book club read this month. Initial impressions: writing style a bit brisk for my taste but sticking with it.

Another 3-card past/present/future draw, using the Urban Crow oracle deck.

The middle card "Gifts", for the present, resonates a lot. I missed being at Worldcon in person this last week, and among other things really missed browsing and shopping in the gobsmacking Dealers' Room. I am part way through browsing through the online shops for many dealers who were there. Seeing if I want to pick something up as a substitute treat. I have already picked up a "Fan Phenomena" book about Game of Thrones from Intellect Books. Not a series I ever watched or read, but know a lot about. And I'm viewing that book as a taster for the Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings ones I most want to read. Also browsing comic book publishers (including a small press one in Scotland, who publishes many of interest to me), and gift shops.

As for "Mischief", well we've just had another run in with Covid in the house. Picked up on an outing to St Andrews last Friday. Martin was the only one to test positive, but given my symptom pattern we're sure I've had it too. Luckily it has been very mild this time. Martin's symptoms have been significantly less troublesome than his ongoing Long Covid.

Looking ahead "Mimicry" reminds me that I want to do original things in my academic work and fun projects. It's easy to retread the same topics. But I want to challenge myself, by trying new things, and tricky things. Other people might relate to this card differently. But given where I am, and what I'm hoping to do in the upcoming future, that's how it resonates most for me.

I'm trying to remember to make time for this each week. To randomly draw a simple past/present/future 3-card spread of the Urban Crow oracle cards which I got recently. And find very easy to work with/interpret.

As usual, I'm using them as a tool to reflect on my situation and circumstances. And think about where I am and what I want to do. I am not using them in a predictive kind of way.

Here is today's spread. With thoughts/comments after the picture.



The middle card, Freedom, was lovely to see. I am currently newly in a better patch in between my recurring rollercoaster of post Covid vaccine neurological autoimmune disease flares. I've had these flares 9 times now, after every Covid vaccine (I get, and need, a lot of Covid vaccines because I am severely immunosuppressed). Each time I am even more ill for up to 3 months, with phenomenally increased sedation, headaches, arm and leg loss of control, and increased bladder incontinence. Many people wouldn't put up with this. But I'm not willing to sacrifice my much needed Covid vaccine protection. And I know I am generating good antibodies from each one.

So I'm in a better patch, for the next couple of months. After that I will get my 10th Covid vaccine, and be iller again for another 3 months. I will just cope. Plus my neurological disease is still progressing, and leaves me severely disabled, even in the better patches. But that progression is slow. And that's partly why I'm still here 30 years into living with this illness!

So yes, this is a time of relative freedom for me, and I want to make the most of it. Maybe get more things done, including the academic journal papers and research projects I am working on sporadically. And maybe get out more with Martin, to have fun.

The left card, reflecting the past, is Anomaly, which can be a problem, or something out of the ordinary, or other interpretations. It's making me think of my latest Covid vaccine flare more than my long-term neurological disease. A devastating neurological flare which has run from early May to early August. And it does tie in with Freedom.

The rightmost card, reflecting looking ahead, is Caching. Which again fits nicely with where I am. I want, in this short better patch, to make new valuable memories, and get things done I can look back on in future. So I want to make the most of this time, in a way I can look back on happily when I'm much iller again.

An interesting draw anyway, and some nice things to think about.

Meanwhile re Freedom, today is the start of the Glasgow Worldcon, and I have digital streaming access thanks to my attending ticket. I won't be watching much live, but hope to see one talk later today. And catch up on even more in the coming weeks and months. I also have Oxonmoot to look forward to in a few weeks. Again with a digital ticket. And ditto for the Edinburgh Book Festival. Streaming has been transformational for me.

Reminded of a talk I gave 10 years ago today to the Economic and Social History Society of Scotland conference in Inverness. As I wrote then: "Also my talk on 17th century Melrose area court records went well. I said two things I didn’t plan to say: 'CSI Melrose', and 'Murrrdddeerr' a la Taggart! I do improvise a lot in conference talks, and am never quite sure what I will say!"

I don't think I'll ever be able to give another academic conference talk again, given my progressive neurological illness now, but it was fun while I still could. For this one back in 2013 I had to use my wheelchair that day. Luckily the venue was pretty accessible.

I'm continuing to watch panels of interest to me from this summer's SHARP (Society for the History of Authorship, Reading and Publishing) book history conference. Which this year was totally online. I was too ill at the time to watch anything live, but have until the end of August to watch the Zoom recordings I want to see. So far I have watched 8 panels, each usually with 2 or 3 speakers. And a list of more to watch in the coming weeks.

Every single academic conference talk I am able to watch - now usually from home, in my pyjamas, typically in bed! - inspires my own research. For example today I was watching a panel about black voices and enslaved workers in the North American book trade. So many similar names to the black servants I have been uncovering in eighteenth-century Scotland. I need to get that research written up and submitted to an academic journal for peer review. Watching this panel today gave me a kick up the butt to do that! Another talk I enjoyed was an academic who researched popular readership and translations of Asian literature in the Victorian era for his PhD. Along the way he started building up his own collection of books from that field and era. He talked in the panel about how he researched those books' owners and readers. And again that reminded me that I have some slightly related research that I should write up and publish on sometime.