Well, my pay didn't come in
Dec. 13th, 2025 02:36 amI'll call again in the morning, I don't care if it is a weekend, but....
*headdesk*
I don't know what I'll do for groceries if this isn't resolved by Monday, but I'll wait until Monday to worry about it.
For my Wife
Dec. 13th, 2025 01:08 amChapters: 1/1
Fandom: Essalieyan Universe -- Michelle West
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Gilliam of Elseth/Stephen of Elseth [Essalieyan Universe]
Characters: Gilliam of Elseth [Essalieyan Universe], Stephen of Elseth [Essalieyan Universe]
Additional Tags: Drabble, Present Tense, Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death
Summary:
Gil, Stephen, a moment that can never be
Dreams of Lost Chances
"This is just a dream. You're not really here. You ... you left me."
"No."
"I lost you!"
"Even if I am only a dream, I am a part of you. Or ... do you still hold yourself back from all we could have been?"
The snarl is familiar, ripping out of Gil's throat moments before the Hunter is upon the Huntbrother. Lips, tongue, teeth move with fierce possession over skin, met with something not truly submissive but giving ground. What was denied by death finds voice and passion here, now, a stolen moment in effigy.
It is all Gil can have.
Economics
Dec. 13th, 2025 12:15 amLos Angeles didn’t mismanage its way into crisis. It built its way here.
I disagree. If a city does not track all of its liabilities, such as the maintenance costs of roads and utilities, that is mismanagement. You can't run a budget when you don't know where your money is going. That ought to be obvious.
( Read more... )
Philosophical Questions: Humans
Dec. 13th, 2025 12:06 amIs the human tendency to create groups an overall positive or a negative trait in terms of general human flourishing?
Necessary. Insofar as we know, Homo like most primates is a troop animal, evolved to live in groups rather than alone. Individuals may choose to live alone, but it is much more difficult. Of course, humans can choose to create groups that are themselves positive or negative in structure and behavior, but that's a personal choice.
Fandom Fifty: #42
Dec. 12th, 2025 08:04 pmoh my, only three?
Star Trek: Beyond -- I am never not gonna be pissed that the franchise for this set ended here. Because, you see, while Urban and Yelchin stole my hearts from day one, it was THIS MOVIE that felt like everyone had fully found a way to bring the roles to life with the spirit of their predecessors and their own takes merging BEAUTIFULLY. Then again, losing Yelchin... maybe it's best.
Hidden Figures - HISTORY! Dramatized! Could have done without the shift on the white guy getting the bathroom policy changed from real life, BUT! The whole film introduced me to fuller stories for names I'd only known in passing, as it made me dig in and find historic accounts! Also, hot damn that is one beautiful cast.
Star Wars: Rogue One - This? This was Star Wars in a way I had not felt Star Wars since RotJ. It was about hope, it was about quick-knitting hero teams, it was about giving your all, no matter the cost, to end the evil. To say Rogue One belongs with the OT for me is no hyperbole. I love everything it did to enhance the mythos.
(no subject)
Dec. 12th, 2025 05:05 pmAnyway, so Vita Nostra is more or less a horror novel .... or at least it's about the thing which is scariest to me, existential transformation of the self without consent and without control.
At the start of the book, teenage Sasha is on a nice beach vacation with her mom when she finds herself being followed everywhere by a strange, ominous man. He has a dictate for her: every morning, she has to skinny-dip at 4 AM and swim out to a certain point in the ocean, then back, Or Else. Or Else? Well, the first time she oversleeps, her mom's vacation boyfriend has a mild heart attack and ends up in the ER. The next time ... well, who knows, the next time, so Sasha keeps on swimming. And then the vacation ends! And the horrible and inexplicable interval is, thankfully, over!
Except of course it isn't over; the ominous man returns, with more instructions, which eventually derail Sasha off of her planned normal pathway of high school --> university --> career. Instead, despite the confused protests of her mother, she glumly follows the instructions of her evil angel and treks off to the remote town of Torpa to attend the Institute of Special Technologies.
Nobody is at the Institute of Special Technologies by choice. Nobody is there to have a good time. Everyone has been coerced there by an ominous advisor; as entrance precondition, everyone has been given a set of miserable tasks to perform, Or Else. Also, it's hard not to notice that all the older students look strange and haunted and shamble disconcertingly through the dorms in a way that seems like a sort of existential dispute with the concept of space, though if you ask them about it they're just like 'lol you'll understand eventually,' which is not reassuring. And then there are the actual assignments -- the assignments that seem designed to train you to think in a way the human brain was not designed to think -- and which Sasha is actually really good at! the best in her class! fortunately or unfortunately .... but fortunately in at least this respect: everyone wants to pass, because if you fail at the midterm, if you fail at the finals, there's always the Or Else waiting.
AND ALSO all the roommates are assigned and it's hell.
Weird, fascinating book! I found it very tense and propulsive despite the fact that for chapters at a time all that happens is Sasha doing horrible homework exercises and turning her brain inside out. I feel like a lot of magic school books are, essentially, power fantasies. What if you learned magic? What if you were so good at it? Sasha is learning some kind of magic, and Sasha is so good at it, but the overwhelming emotion of this book is powerlessness, lack of agency, arbitrary tasks and incomprehensible experiences papered over with a parody of Normal College Life. On the one hand Sasha is desperate to hold onto her humanity and to remain a person that her mother will recognize when she comes home; on the other hand, the veneer of Normal College Life layered on top of the Institute's existential weirdness seems more and more pointless and frustrating the further on it goes and the stranger Sasha herself becomes. I think the moment it really clicked for me is midway through Sasha's second year, when ( spoilers )
Water
Dec. 12th, 2025 04:20 pmWhere rain comes from may decide the future stability of global food production.
New research shows that crops are far more vulnerable when too much rainfall originates from land rather than the ocean. Land-sourced moisture leads to weaker, less reliable rainfall, heightening drought risk. The U.S. Midwest and East Africa are particularly exposed due to soil drying and deforestation. Protecting forests and improving land management could help stabilize rainfall and crop yields.
Allow me to point out that the Midwest used to have copious fencerows of trees and bushes, more pocket forests, and more farmhouse yards. People cut down most of those to clear a few more acres of farmland. The results have been poor across multiple areas including wildlife losses, soil erosion, worsening winds with less interruption, and of course the aforementioned droughts.
The Ministry for the Future, by Kim Stanley Robinson
Dec. 12th, 2025 01:45 pm
After a wet-bulb heat wave kills thousands in India, the UN forms an organization, the Ministry for the Future, intended to deal with climate change on behalf of future generations. They're not the only organization trying mitigate or fight or adapt to climate change; many other people and groups are working on the same thing, using everything from science to financial incentives to persuasion to terrorism.
We very loosely follow two very lightly sketched-in characters, an Irish woman who leads the Ministry for the Future and an American man whose life is derailed when he's a city's sole survivor of the Indian wet-bulb event, but the book has a very broad canvas and they're not protagonists in the usual sense of the word. The book isn't about individuals, it's about a pair of phenomena: climate change and what people do about it. The mission to save the future is the protagonist insofar as there is one.
This is the first KSR book I've actually managed to finish! (It's also the only one that I got farther in than about two chapters.) It's a very interesting, enlightening, educational book. I enjoyed reading it.
He's a very particular kind of writer, much more interested in ideas and a very broad scope than in characters or plot. That approach works very well for this book. The first chapter, which details the wet-bulb event, is a stunning, horrifying piece of writing. It's also the closest the book ever comes to feeling like a normal kind of novel. The rest of it is more like a work of popular nonfiction from an alternate timeline, full of science and economics and politics and projects.
I'm pretty sure Robinson researched the absolute cutting edge of every possible action that could possibly mitigate climate change, and wrote the book based on the idea of "What if we tried all of it?"
Very plausibly, not everything works. (In a bit of dark humor, an attempt to explain to billionaires why they should care about other people fails miserably.) Lots of people are either apathetic or actively fighting against the efforts, and there's a whole lot of death, disaster, and irreparable damage along the way. But the project as a whole succeeds, not because of any one action taken by any one group, but because of all of the actions taken by multiple groups. It's a blueprint for what we could be doing, if we were willing to do it.
The Ministry for the Future came out in 2020. Reading it now, its optimism about the idea that people would be willing to pull together for the sake of future generations makes it feel like a relic from an impossibly long time ago.
Birdfeeding
Dec. 12th, 2025 03:18 pmI fed the birds. I've seen a few sparrows and house finches.
I put out water for the birds.
EDIT 12/12/25 -- I did a bit of work around the patio.
EDIT 12/12/25 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 12/12/25 -- I did more work around the patio.
EDIT 12/12/25 -- I did more work around the patio.
As it is getting dark, I am done for the night.
Thundering up over the horizon....
Dec. 12th, 2025 08:52 pmSuddenly it seems like Christmas is more imminent than I thought - I was going, oh, it is only the beginning of December, and now we are nearly 2 weeks in and aaaaargh.
Anyway, I have managed to get off the book tokens for the great-nieces and nephews - I was waiting on my sister coming back to let me know that, yes, they are all still readers, and then looked again at her email in which she said, would let me know if not....
So I got on to that and I had clearly erased from memory how immensely tiresome Waterstones site is should you want to purchase physical gift cards for several people, you have to make a separate purchase for each one, moan groan, and quite soon reached point where credit cards went 'we are sending you OTP' as you put in details yet another time.
Am feeling a bit generally fratchy today after a night troubled with resurgence of hip issue - probably due to a certain amount of standing about at Institution of Which I Am Honoured to Be A Fellow's Party yestere'en.
Had a moderately agreeable time and pleasant conversation but am still irked that the email issue remains unresolved.
Also, having determined to ring opticians to confirm appointment for dilation test - after a very satisfactory, insofar as holding one's head in awkward positions and having lights flashed in one's eyes can be thus designated, eye-test on Wednesday, at which it was determined I did not need new glasses, hooray, hooray, person I was dealing with right at the end looked at my notes and asked how long it was since they did a dilation test, which resulted in booking me in for a week's time. However, did not get any confirmation, odd I thought since they had been inundating me with texts and emails reminding me of the eye-test. So I was going to ring them but then they rang, going ooops, we are actually closed that day for training, can we reschedule. So rescheduled.
signal boost: US health insurance, time-sensitive
Dec. 12th, 2025 03:32 pmIf you are in the US, don't have employer-provided health insurance (hello layoffs, among others), and are thus buying your insurance on healthcare.gov or the state marketplaces, you might want to read
siderea's series of posts on the subject soon: introduction, A health plan is a contract, and HSAs and bronze/catastrophic plans (so far). Technically you have until January 15 to sign up for 2026 insurance, but if you want insurance coverage in January, your deadline is Real Soon Now -- December 15 in most places, but earlier in some states. (I'm in PA where it's December 15; I haven't been tracking other places but Siderea mentions some in the introduction.)
Something I had missed is that for 2026, the government has admitted that bronze plans (with the lowest-but-still-high premiums) are inadequate, and you can now set up a Health Savings Account (HSA) with those plans. It's extra paperwork but can lead to savings on the money you were going to have to spend out of pocket anyway.
Write every day: Day 12
Dec. 12th, 2025 06:12 pmTally:
( Read more... )
Day 11:
Bonus farm news: We ended up leaving the boar carcass on a clearcut a mile into the forest away from any houses, cutting open the skin so the birds of prey would have an easier time. Wild boar skin is tough.
[#283] Charade (The Fantastic Journey)
Dec. 12th, 2025 08:10 pmTheme Prompt: #283 – First Impressions
Title: Charade
Fandom: The Fantastic Journey
Rating/Warnings: PG
Bonus: Yes.
Word Count: 1000
Summary: First impressions are not always accurate, sometimes people aren’t at all the way they first appear.
Weird. (a game)
Dec. 12th, 2025 10:53 amPlaytests welcome. It is a solo storytelling/journalling/story creation horror game. It uses a simplified version of solitaire to drive the story.
[ETA] From the writeup:
And yet the sun rises.
Weird. is a horror game about a flawed protagonist confronting their worst nightmares.
I, a troubled character, am alone on the longest night of the year.
You, a storyteller, use prompts and the inevitability of card order to tell a story for me, driven by fear and fate.
I am tormented by unfinished business, which, as you know, is a great way to become the target of supernatural forces.
Enjoy bringing about my nearly inevitable and almost certainly miserable end, but also maybe final moment of grace, redemption, or transformation, in Weird.
* * * * * *
Title-wise, I went with Weird, as an archaic synonym for fate, styled with a period: Weird.
I liked the suggestion of Patience quite a bit, but this isn't really a game about being patient. I'd want waiting, duration, something like that, in the mechanics somewhere. Actually, maybe I'll try to make such a game, since I still seem to have Game Fever. Maybe it's to play in waiting rooms.
As predicted, the game jam I made has not posted to the Itch calendar, so I am the only person who knows about it or has submitted anything. But I tried!
( Thoughts on the possibilities of this mechanic )
* * * * * *
Qua writing tool, I find the game a pretty decent method for creating something between a detailed outline and a rough story draft.
§rf§
Recent reading
Dec. 12th, 2025 05:54 pmThe History of Miss Betsy Thoughtless by Eliza Haywood (1751). A solid eighteenth-century brick following the adventures in London society and courtship of the young protagonist, who is kind, generous, good-hearted and not at all vicious but who is nevertheless rather—you'll never guess what Betsy's central character flaw is. (There is a lot of extremely unsubtle character naming in this book.) It's one of those books that I found interesting rather than liking exactly. Much of it is an illustration of a contemporary sexual morality which can accurately be described as victim-blaming and double standards and not much else; the early part of the book seems to shy away from portraying controversial subjects (one character attempts abortion but fails; another sets in motion legal proceedings to divorce his wife, but dies before the divorce can be completed), and later on there's a sequence which is kind of a shockingly bold repudiation of conventional morality and also kind of really isn't, which was a bit frustrating. Betsy is really a very likeable character, though, and there's a lot of enjoyable overwrought drama and fun eighteenth-century language. (Haywood consistently spells the possessive 'its' with an apostrophe, among other things.)
The Garden God: A Tale of Two Boys by Forrest Reid (1906). A strange, dreamy, virtually-textually queer book that isn't a school story at all despite being about the relationship between two boys at school and very little else. (We see almost nothing of other boys, teachers, lessons, painstakingly-detailed cricket matches or school affairs in general; the one time the book acknowledges the wider world it's to comment 'democracy, how ghastly' and then move straight on.) The writing style is strikingly modern. I enjoyed it, although neither the style nor the relationship development is the sort of thing I really get attached to. Also, a gay relationship beginning with one character confessing to the other that they've already met them in a dream as a child is a weird thing for a book like this to have in common with Carmilla.
Amateur City by Katherine V. Forrest (1984). I had to know what this lesbian detective genre was all about, but this book—in which lesbian police detective Kate Delafield solves the mystery of who murdered the world's worst boss in a big corporate office building, and also isn't the main witness in the case cute?—was a bit of a disappointment. I don't get on with Forrest's writing, I think; then police procedurals are not the kind of detective story I like, and the characters and relationships in this one were not appealing to me. (I can't say I was contrary enough to like Ellen's horrible girlfriend, who does treat her pretty badly, but I was annoyed on her behalf because Forrest was so clearly writing her as a cardboard villain and Ellen just blithely cheats on her and still hasn't come clean and/or broken up with her by the end of the book. That's not a happy ending!)
I think there are many.
Some examples:
* The fastest code is the code you don't run.
Smaller = faster, and we all want faster. Moore's law is over, Dennard scaling isn't affordable any more, smaller feature sizes are getting absurdly difficult and therefore expensive to fab. So if we want our computers to keep getting faster as we've got used to over the last 40-50 years then the only way to keep delivering that will be to start ruthlessly optimising, shrinking, finding more efficient ways to implement what we've got used to.
Smaller systems are better for performance.
* The smaller the code, the less there is to go wrong.
Smaller doesn't just mean faster, it should mean simpler and cleaner too. Less to go wrong. Easier to debug. Wrappers and VMs and bytecodes and runtimes are bad: they make life easier but they are less efficient and make issues harder to troubleshoot. Part of the Unix philosophy is to embed the KISS principle.
So that's performance and troubleshooting. We aren't done.
* The less you run, the smaller the attack surface.
Smaller code and less code means fewer APIs, fewer interfaces, less points of failure. Look at djb's decades-long policy of offering rewards to people who find holes in qmail or djbdns. Look at OpenBSD. We all need better more secure code. Smaller simpler systems built from fewer layers means more security, less attack surface, less to audit.
Higher performance, and easier troubleshooting, and better security. There's 3 reasons.
Practical examples...
The Atom editor spawned an entire class of app: Electron apps, Javascript on Node, bundled with Chromium. Slack, Discord, VSCode: there are multiple apps used by tens to hundreds of millions of people now. Look at how vast they are. Balena Etcher is a, what, nearly 100 MB download to write an image to USB? Native apps like Rufus do it in a few megabytes. Smaller ones like USBimager do it in hundreds of kilobytes. A dd command in under 100 bytes.
Now some of the people behind Atom wrote Zed.
It's 10% of the size and 10x the speed, in part because it's a native Rust app.
The COSMIC desktop looks like GNOME, works like GNOME Shell, but it's smaller and faster and more customisable because it's native Rust code.
GNOME Shell is Javascript running on an embedded copy of Mozilla's Javascript runtime.
Just like dotcoms wanted to dis-intermediate business, remove middlemen and distributors for faster sales, we could use disintermediation in our software. Fewer runtimes, better smarter compiled languages so we can trap more errors and have faster and safer compiled native code.
Smaller, simpler, cleaner, fewer layers, less abstractions: these are all goods things which are desirable.
Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson knew this. That's why Research Unix evolved into Plan 9, which puts way more stuff through the filesystem to remove whole types of API. Everything's in a container all the time, the filesystem abstracts the network and the GUI and more. Under 10% of the syscalls of Linux, the kernel is 5MB of source, and yet it has much of Kubernetes in there.
Then they went further, replaced C too, made a simpler safer language, embedded its runtime right into the kernel, and made binaries CPU-independent, and turned the entire network-aware OS into a runtime to compete with the JVM, so it could run as a browser plugin as well as a bare-metal OS. Now we have ubiquitous virtualisation so lean into it: separate domains. If your user-facing OS only runs in a VM then it doesn't need a filesystem or hardware drivers, because it won't see hardware, only virtualised facilities, so rip all that stuff out. Your container host doesn't need to have a console or manage disks.
This is what we should be doing. This is what we need to do. Hack away at the code complexity. Don't add functionality, remove it. Simplify it. Enforce standards by putting them in the kernel and removing dozens of overlapping implementations. Make codebases that are smaller and readable by humans.
Leave the vast bloated stuff to commercial companies and proprietary software where nobody gets to read it except LLM bots anyway.