Just had my first go using a blunt syringe with a 3D-printed ink miser to load my piston filler daily journal fountain pen. The ink in the big bottle was now too low a level for me to get a good fill directly. But my neurological illness hands were rather terrified of today's process! But it worked brill. Filled the syringe, then the ink miser (almost totally full), then filled through the pen nib using the piston filler. Worked brilliantly, and I didn't knock anything over! Just a little ink left over in the miser, which I poured back into the bottle. Very happy fountain pen user. Martin was around today, but I decided to try to tackle this myself. And it worked.

A third of the way through sleeving cards in my new Fellowship of the Ring card game, and it’s a tight fit, but they do fit sleeved (there are 3 slots in the box for 48 cards each). Relieved to have managed the first batch - hands cooperating well there today despite my progressive neurological illness. But definitely leaving the rest to later this week! P.S. You don't have to sleeve the cards, but I prefer to in this case. I'm using Gamegenic 66 x 91 mm "Gray" code Standard Card Game Matte Sleeves (3 x 50 packs). But there are other options too.

Very difficult week with my progressive neurological illness, but delighted to end with some accordion practice. Mainly playing my own arrangements, including here Despacito, and also Speechless from Aladdin, and Don't Shut Me Down from ABBA. Extremely light headed, and there were fluffs, but happy.

Very recently I replaced my rapidly dying old Kindle Paperwhite 4 with the latest model. And a few days on I thought I'd post some quick thoughts.

On plus the new one (Kindle Paperwhite 6) is much much more responsive for page turns. This makes a huge difference to me since I read with a gigantic font for disability/neurological illness reasons. So have to turn pages much more than most folk for the same amount of text. In the old model there was a noticeable delay each time. Now it feels almost instant. Which I'm very happy with.

It was also remarkably easy to set up, using my iPod touch (like an iPhone, but without any phoning) to send by Bluetooth my Kindle login details and wifi network. Which sounds a bit risky as I write this, but worked ... And then I just had to tweak the font size, screen layout and brightness to my preferences, and I was done.

On the downside the new Kindle Paperwhite uses a different transfer protocol (MTP) which is not Mac friendly. So if connecting it up via USB there are extra hurdles to get eg a screenshot off. Which I do rarely. But still. It also affects side loading ebooks onto it by cable, though you can also upload them via web and email.

Also the Kindle Paperwhite 6 is a little bit bigger than my previous Kindle Paperwhite 4. It's not too big for me to handle, but felt a little unfamiliar at first.

I really like the plant-based cover I got, the official Amazon version. It's not fully plant-based, but much more so than the standard cover. I picked it partly for that reason, but also because it got better reviews for softness and no sharp edges than the main alternatives.

Big relief I don't have a yellow band at the bottom of my screen. This has been a problem for many latest Paperwhite owners as well as the new Kindle Colorsoft model. I am mightily relieved.

Back to Gaelic study, and restarting from the beginning with Moray Watson's books. Hoping to get a bit more of the vocabulary to stick this time, despite my severe memory problems from my progressive neurological disease! Which really really doesn't help, and eg stops me using things like Duolingo. Also conversational teaching doesn't suit me. On plus much grammar has stuck over the years. I'm surprised how much has stuck. But I need to make a more conscious effort re learning new vocabulary. And increasingly so as my neurological disease progresses. I love Gaelic and its sounds. And was given a Gaelic middle name at birth. Will persevere!

Pleased that my temperature has stabilised finally 6 days after my latest double vaccines. It's continued swinging for ages, though I was feeling much less fragile overall by Monday afternoon. My arms are still sore, but improving a lot too. Enormously grateful to have got my protection. Even as I expect a very nasty and prolonged post Covid vaccine auto immune neurological illness flare to start shortly 🙁 But got my protection!

Back to the Urban Crow deck, and as usual my 3-card past/present/future spread.

Play / Anomaly / Anticipation.

There could be lots of interpretations of these cards. But looking at them I'm immediately reminded that I'm in a brief phase of slightly better health at the moment, and about to go very very downhill again in a few weeks time. So I've been having fun, and trying to make the most of it. Albeit hampered by my failed experimental immunosuppression dose change from May. Which still needs a few weeks to resolve itself since the dose went back in September (it takes up to 12 weeks to show the full effects).

Admittedly I've had post Covid vaccine flares so many times (9/9, with my 10th Covid vaccine due in a couple of weeks) that it's hardly an "anomaly" in my life! But it is still phenomenally disrupting each time, very distressing, leaving me extra incapacitated with devastating increased neurological symptoms for 3 long months at a time. It's a never-ending rollercoaster. But not one I'm willing to get off. I want my vaccine protection too much, and severely immunosuppressed me really needs it to get through Covid ok. Which we keep catching.

On plus I've got Christmas looming in the next few months, and that's what the last card today shouts out to me. I am not religious - was brought up vaguely Church of Scotland, but I've been agnostic for many years. I take after my Dad re this. However I love the mid winter festival that is Christmas, and the sense of snuggling down, in the warmth, with good food, and celebrations. So that's something to look forward to. Even if I will still be neurologically flaring very badly then.

This year we can also look forward to our annual pre-Christmas rewatch of 1984's TV Box of Delights being the new next month Blu-ray remastered version. So that will be a treat to carry us through to Christmas too.

Finished the Val McDermid Lady Macbeth retelling, and still reading "A Darker Shade of Magic". But for a second fiction book on the go I'm having another bash at "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell". Last time I tried reading this, in 2004/5, I was already having huge problems managing print due to my progressive neurological disease. And battled with this recently published hardback. Not least with all the teeny footnotes! And bailed out. But going to have another go, this time on my Kindle with an utterly gargantuan font. Because it really is the sort of book that I should adore. Fingers crossed!

I'm continuing my reread of The Fellowship of the Ring. And the party have just got through Moria. But I was struggling hugely to visualise in my mind the different rooms and levels that the party were going through, especially later on in their time in Moria. But I can remember a time when I could visualise them clearly. For many years. So this seems to be something I've lost since, or can't do now anyway. It's not that I'm not remembering the Peter Jackson movie version. But my image of the journey through Moria was memorably different from the movie I saw in 2001. I remember clearly having "thoughts" about the film's depiction of Moria, and how different it was from how I imagined it looked ever since I'd started reading the book for the first time as a young child. But now I can't really visualise any geography at all as I read.

Relatively recently I tried an aphantasia online test. And scored highly. Which would fit with my struggles to visualise things in my mind now. Including faces. Even very close family! But I'm now wondering after this LOTR rereading experience if it's something that I've developed more in recent years. Perhaps as a result of my progressive neurological illness.

When I was young I could visualise things, and draw from images in my mind. However when my neurological illness started in 1994 at age 22 I quickly noticed my ability to think abstractly diminishing. Rather a big problem for a computer science PhD student needing to program. I quickly lost the ability to program effectively in lots of languages. Though at the time I just coped as best as I could. It's more distressing looking back.

So yup, I wonder if visualisation is another loss with time, perhaps due to my long term illness. It's partly also why I dreaded designing cover art for my latest IFComp game. But hey, got there!

Curiouser and curiouser anyway. I am enjoying my LOTR reread despite this. Next up Lothlorien.

I'm trying to remember to make time for this each week. To randomly draw a simple past/present/future 3-card spread of the Urban Crow oracle cards which I got recently. And find very easy to work with/interpret.

As usual, I'm using them as a tool to reflect on my situation and circumstances. And think about where I am and what I want to do. I am not using them in a predictive kind of way.

Here is today's spread. With thoughts/comments after the picture.



The middle card, Freedom, was lovely to see. I am currently newly in a better patch in between my recurring rollercoaster of post Covid vaccine neurological autoimmune disease flares. I've had these flares 9 times now, after every Covid vaccine (I get, and need, a lot of Covid vaccines because I am severely immunosuppressed). Each time I am even more ill for up to 3 months, with phenomenally increased sedation, headaches, arm and leg loss of control, and increased bladder incontinence. Many people wouldn't put up with this. But I'm not willing to sacrifice my much needed Covid vaccine protection. And I know I am generating good antibodies from each one.

So I'm in a better patch, for the next couple of months. After that I will get my 10th Covid vaccine, and be iller again for another 3 months. I will just cope. Plus my neurological disease is still progressing, and leaves me severely disabled, even in the better patches. But that progression is slow. And that's partly why I'm still here 30 years into living with this illness!

So yes, this is a time of relative freedom for me, and I want to make the most of it. Maybe get more things done, including the academic journal papers and research projects I am working on sporadically. And maybe get out more with Martin, to have fun.

The left card, reflecting the past, is Anomaly, which can be a problem, or something out of the ordinary, or other interpretations. It's making me think of my latest Covid vaccine flare more than my long-term neurological disease. A devastating neurological flare which has run from early May to early August. And it does tie in with Freedom.

The rightmost card, reflecting looking ahead, is Caching. Which again fits nicely with where I am. I want, in this short better patch, to make new valuable memories, and get things done I can look back on in future. So I want to make the most of this time, in a way I can look back on happily when I'm much iller again.

An interesting draw anyway, and some nice things to think about.

Meanwhile re Freedom, today is the start of the Glasgow Worldcon, and I have digital streaming access thanks to my attending ticket. I won't be watching much live, but hope to see one talk later today. And catch up on even more in the coming weeks and months. I also have Oxonmoot to look forward to in a few weeks. Again with a digital ticket. And ditto for the Edinburgh Book Festival. Streaming has been transformational for me.